Death part deux

Today I attended the funeral of my friend who died on saturday. His body lay in a very ornate silver casket. I didn't think of Lenin in Moscow, but I should have; not because my friend in life resembled Lenin, but because in death everyone resembles Lenin. Dead bodies are pasty, pale, flaccid and icky looking no matter how much makeup is applied.

On my graduation night from High School, one of my best friends was decapitated in an auto accident. His parents, being new to America were convinced that an open casket was the best way for people to remember their son. The mortuary did a very poor job of sewing his head back on.
and I will always remember the way his body looked in death more than in life.

I have seen my share of death and dead persons. I have a close friend who through two tours in Vietnam saw enough for a whole city. It is hardest when young persons die prematurely. The old are expected to die and so their deaths shouldn't be the shock that it often is.

As a denial society, Americans, who are allegedly preoccupied with life, spend most of their time pursuing things that bring about death. Alcohol, smoking, violence, sex outside of heterosexual, monogamous marriage, overeating, under-exercising and stress all lead to premature death. These are also the things which most spend their lives pursuing - often unwittingly.

At the funeral today, a young member of the deceased's family chastised the other, older members for not being a close-knit family unit. Some of his relatives, he claimed, had not been seen in years. He was visibly shaken by this and his speech was a good lesson in the things which are important - God, love, family, relationships.

Is it not odd that America which has the highest level of medical care in the world has one of the highest premature mortality rates and highest disease rates?

I have always wanted to open a Gen-X cemetary called, "The Bone Yard". The entrance would have neon pink and green flashing lights and dancing skeletons. The hearse would be a '69 lincoln painted lime green with fur on the dash. The caretaker would dress like Huggy-bear from Starsky and Hutch. Gravesights could also be lighted - for a fee, with neon signs and even animatronic creatures. The mausoleum would feature pachinko machines with cool prizes. We would raffle off one free gravesite per month. I bet the place would be filled in no time.

I mentioned this idea to someone earlier and they said I was nuts. I already knew that - but wouldn't having an eclectic place to visit and spend time thinking about a loved one be better than walking or driving to some wasted golfcourse land and staring at a piece of stone? Wouldn't it be cool if while you were visiting the gravesite of a loved one, you could get a diet coke from a machine? I bet less people would be sad. It would be pretty hard to be sad if your loved one was buried in a place that boasted dancing skeletons and neon lights. Beats the heck out of the undertaker motif most places have. Besides, how come only the living get to have fun?

I know that I will be accused of being irreverant and lots of people will email me and ask when I lost my salvation, blah, blah, blah. What is more irreverant than staring at a composite of dying tissue which in no way resembles the person who once resided in it? WHat's more insulting that staring at the dead corpse of someone we wouldn't give the time of day to when they were alive? What is more selfish than going to pay your respects to someone you never respected?