You have to give the devil an A for perseverance

Yesterday was thankfully unlike many other days in that I received notice of a very unfortunate event. The announcement was that a couple which my wife and I had counseled in the past, were filing for divorce.

As I have said many times previously, the devil is out to make as many nasty things happen as possible and mankind (often unwittingly) gives him a glad hand in doing so. With regard to the couple mentioned above, they had struggled through many things, some dark and some not so dark, but at one point it looked like the lights were coming on and they had finally resolved that being married to the person with whom you first make a marital commitment is the best thing, (notwithstanding the fact that God says this is the BEST thing.) However, they have thrown in the legal towel.

What I cannot fathom is how humans believe that by simply changing environments and biological partners, everything will be rosy and soon one will find oneself floating in a quiet pool beneath a cabana on Cozumel, sipping Red Bull. If environment were the problem, Sherwin Williams would be the great relationship-saver: all one would need to do is paint their room! But Alas, that won't cut it. You see the problem with changing marriage partners is that we are still involved in the relationship, and more often than not, WE are the problem! (I know, not in your case).

Here's a bit of a wierd analogy that might work if you really use your imagination. You are 20-something, full of energy or ("piss and vinegar" as my grandfather used to say) and you meet the man who looks most like your favorite movie star, but not really and you get married. Well, things go O.K. for about 5 years and then he starts working late to make more money to pay for the larger house you had to have and he isn't paying as much attention to you, and so forth - you get the idea. So you listen to Dr. Laura (Whom you should never listen to) and you decide to get a divorce because "you deserve better". So you divorce. It is painful (Always is) and after about 6 weeks you are starting to recover and you meet someone new at the pet store. He is very nice and so is his dog and so you begin to date and soon, you decide to marry - again. About 3 years pass and then guess what - he isn't paying as much attention to you as he should and the story repeats itself.................................

Now there are tons of variations on this theme, some include violence, some include infidelity, some include laziness and so on. But the general idea is that no matter which relationship you enter into, one thing is certain - YOU are in it. And so are all of your proclivities, and "needs" and desires, etc. which you will carry with you into every relationship , until you get rid of the one thing which keeps recurring in this scenario - YOU!

No, I am not advocating suicide or enlightenment. I am advocating God through Jesus Christ. If you've come this far, don't hang up now - hear me out.

The Bible says that Jesus can and will make us new persons (creatures) and by doing so will get rid of our "old" person and put in its place a "new" person. This in fact does happen - it did in my case and I have seen it countless other times in people in all walks of life, from the boardroom to the penitentiary and everywhere in between. So if you will follow Christ - He can and will remove the one factor which hinders every relationship - US!

I am 39 years old and have been married for nearly 18 years to the same woman. Before we met, I knew her a grand total of 5 months, 4 of which I spent floating in the North Atlantic on a huge, grey chunk of metal, propelled by atoms slamming into each other. Well, how does a 22 year old navy punk marry a 20 year old woman and stay faithfully married for almost 2 decades (having spent less than 2 weeks in the same country)? Because I was not in the equation. I'm not being metaphysical or silly - the only reason my wife and I are still married is that for a large portion of our time together, we have been "new creatures" in Jesus Christ. And these new creatures don't think about proclivities, desires and wants ahead of Him or of serving others. Not a bad recipe for success? Best of all, its free!

Before you call the $69 divorce ad in the back of the Greensheet, try asking God to fix what you can't. You'll save money and I guarantee you'll be much happier.